How to Cope From Your Painful Memories

Sometime in your life, you’ve experienced excruciating memories that you don’t like to remember. These are the times when your heart feels such emotional pain that you wanted to stop time when you thought about them. You frequently feel overwhelmed by these feelings and choose to ignore them, which can result in anxiety and despair. This is not good for your mental or physical well-being.

You have the power to control your feelings and anxieties. But it depends on how severe these emotions are and how they will affect you and your body. How can you allow these feelings to influence you? How can you handle them? Remember that our minds and hearts are able to recover and adapt; it all depends on the individual's willingness to face each challenge that arises along the way.

It might seem complicated, and yes, I’m not going to lie to you. It is challenging to cope, especially if it brings up an unpleasant memory or current circumstance. At first, it will be hard to ease the unsettling emotions, but time will give you the opportunity to heal and recuperate. Let me share with you what worked for me. It is different for every person, but I hope it will help you on your journey.

Put a label on what you feel.

People tend to say " I’m okay", "I’m doing fine" or "I’m doing alright". This is something you might hear and possibly say a few times. I did, too, but it didn't stop me from fighting a losing war with myself. The will to stay alive and not give up.

According to psychologists and researchers, putting a label on your feelings can make them less intense. It allows your brain to process emotions. Lieberman stated that people often lie to themselves about their unpleasant emotions rather than overcoming them. Labeling your feelings doesn’t necessarily require you to feel better immediately. "When you put feelings into words, you're activating this prefrontal region and seeing a reduced response in the amygdala," he said.

When you put feelings into words, you take a break from your emotions. As a result, when you express anger or sadness, you will experience a corresponding decrease in those emotions. When you express your feelings aloud, your brain will react and help you deal with your feelings.

Do something that will take your mind away from your painful memory.

Yeah, I might sound crazy. Why am I encouraging you to do that? I know at this moment all you can do is cry and wallow in your emotions. But, darling, you still need to move, eat, and function. The world still spins around you, and you need to keep breathing. I’m not saying that you act like a robot, but at least do something that will take your mind away from what you’re feeling.

Read a book, do gardening, crochet, knit, travel, clean out a dirty compartment of your house, remodel your room and so much more that you can choose from. Do activities that you won’t do out of the ordinary but avoid risky ones like drug or alcohol use. Neither of these will help you, it will only make it worse. Giving yourself a break from your suffering will enable you to manage it and briefly free yourself from the restrictions of your throbbing heart.

Do a journal entry, blog post, or video to track your progress.

Some people express their feelings through writing, while others do so in different ways. It’s up to you how you will release these imbalances from your system. You can record videos of yourself if you enjoy doing so, or if you like to write, you can keep a journal or create a story about it. According to research, journaling gives you the opportunity to express, consider, and cure your disturbing emotions.

Talk to someone about your pain.

Sometimes people don’t want to talk about their emotions, and in the end, all these bottled-up feelings will burst or could cause harm to you. When you can’t bear the pain anymore and you don’t think you can survive it, talking with someone is one way to deal with your pain.

Talking to someone means seeking assistance from a therapist, life coach, pastor, or minister. This health professional will teach you how will cope and manage your defense mechanisms against the pain. You can visit the local hospital, life coaching organization, or worship ministry; they’ll be able to point you to the right person who can help you. Don’t hesitate to seek professional help; remember, you don’t have to deal with this alone.

Give yourself a chance to heal.

Give yourself time to heal, let go of the pain, and accept your emotions. Some people rush these things, but I tell you, there’s no timeline for how fast you can heal from these memories. All I can say is that "time heals all wounds," which relies on how well the individual can deal with suffering, manage these emotions, and care for his mental health.

There is no mathematical formula for this; just take things at your own pace, and do what’s comfortable for you and what works for you. Don’t let anyone dictate or manipulate your feelings. Because you’re the only one who can tell if you‘re finally ready to let go and move on. No one should be deprived of this right because the only person who has the ability to heal themselves from within is you.

In conclusion, if our emotions are not well managed, they might cause us to fall apart. However, I hope you’ll manage to pick yourself up and cope with your emotional pain. Your life won’t be the same, and it will really change you, but it’s essential that you accept these circumstances and let go of the past so that it will not block you from the happiness you deserve in the future.